"Is there a cure?" Jane asked repeatedly.

                                             This simple sentence had several possible meanings:

                                                                          Jeff, I'm slipping, hold me.

                                                                         Jeff, I'm sinking, save me.

                                                                         Jeff, I'm scared, protect me.

                                                I wanted to hug her or even to pick her up and rock her in my arms...

                                              to tell her, "I'm here with you always," to admit, "I'm scared too."

After Jane's diagnosis, as she slowly slipped away from reality, Jeff slipped into depression, fatigue and anxiety. Fortunately, with the guiding hand of a wise professional advisor, Jeff learned step-by-step how to care for Jane. 

Equally important, his advisor guided Jeff how to identify his own needs and to care for himself without guilt. This is Jeff's thought-provoking and compassionate story.

                                                I wanted to keep her from slipping out of my life.

                                              I wanted to squeeze the Alzheimer's right out of her.

                                              I wanted us to be who we once were.

                                              None of that could happen. 

                                              But at least, from that day on, when words alluded Jane, 

                                              hugs took their place.

Care for the Carer

In this brilliant memoir, Camhi describes a hard lesson he learned – 

that he needed to care not only for his demented wife, but also for himself. 

Required reading for anyone providing long-term care of a loved one. 

H. William Taeusch, Professor Emeritus,

Pediatrics MD, University of California, San Francisco and author of ‘Baby Doe’

This is a story we all need, of how to live well, how to love with decency,

humor, humility and passion, and how to find enough in the world to keep

us in it, hungry for more even when we lose someone we love.

This is a deeply humane book that will stay with me.

Ilana Blumberg, Professor of English and Linguistics, 

Bar Ilan University

Professor Camhi's engrossing memoir sends an important 

message to family caregivers of a demented loved one - that 

they can learn, as he did, to live an engaging life, even

when caring for one whose life is closing down.

Margaret O'Connor

Harvard Professor of Neuropsychology and former President of the International Neuropsychological Society

I have just finished your memoir - a prayer for that  part of you which has departed.

I felt your warmth and caring throughout and your tenderness towards Jane as well.

It is truly a sharing of an experience and your love. Wonderful job.

Dr. Stephen Leviss

Doctor of Obstetrics & Gynecology, Professor Emeritus, New Jersey Medical School

Through your so beautifully written book, I have walked alongside you, 

with you in your world (my world). As I felt my life was slowly sinking into 

a dark, deep pit, your book gave me the hand of hope and love which 

helped me to see there could be life and peace in going forward.

Lynnette Galligherr

Teacher of Literature & Art, Author

This book is filled with warmth, wit, and wisdom,

along with great candor and sensitivity in your story and Jane's as well.

Bob Bussel, Professor Emeritus, and former director of the

Labor Education and Research Center (LERC), University of Oregon

Care for the Carer is an enduring story about your loving relationship

with feminist/entrepreneurial Jane, a vulnerable sharing of your own life

history and challenges, and an important statement about how to manage a

life that involves caring for a loved one without neglecting to care for oneself,

and growing in the process. I have been recommending it and continue to do so.

Robert 'Bob' Grossfeld, Professor Emeritus

North Carolina State University

I am taking care of my husband who has vascular dementia with problems in 

memory cognition, just like AD. I totally understand your struggle in caring for Jane.

I appreciate your insight you provided in the book, especially your self-reflection on a 

carer's needs and rights. I am inspired to learn ways to Care for the Carer.

Dr. Yung Chang

Alzheimer's and Cancer physician